Victim research: helping a friend or family member in an unsafe relationship
Marieke Liem, Professor of Security and Intervention Studies, has shared new research for the Femicide Monitor on how to intervene in unsafe relationships. Based on interviews with victims of severe intimate partner violence, the study identifies five ways to support someone you know who may be in an unsafe relationship.
'A clear common thread emerged from the many conversations we had with victims. Start a conversation, avoid judgement, and show that you are there for them. That is what people in unsafe relationships need,' says Marieke Liem.
Recent research found that 1.5 million people in the Netherlands believe they know someone in an unhealthy or unsafe relationship. In such relationships, one partner systematically exerts control over or pressures the other. According to Liem and her team, these 1.5 million people can make a real difference. 'They can help break the cycle of abuse. On average, more than 30 incidents occur before a victim seeks professional support. Someone close to the victim can often help much earlier, as they are frequently able to recognise patterns of coercive control before the victim does.'
How can bystanders help? To answer this question, Marieke Liem conducted research on intervention in unsafe relationships as part of the Femicide Monitor. Together with her team, she interviewed dozens of victims of severe intimate partner violence about what helped them and what did not. The victimisation research resulted in five key recommendations for helping someone in an unsafe relationship:
- Start a conversation
- Avoid judgement
- Offer practical support
- Stay in touch
- Let the other person remain in control
Read the full report on the factors that contribute to successful intervention (in Dutch).
Also read Marieke Liem’s contributions to de Volkskrant, Veilig Thuis and LINDA.nl.