Is the bully always popular? The link between bullying and popularity explained
In nearly every Dutch primary and secondary school classroom, at least one child is bullied. The common perception is that the most popular child in the class is often the bully, while less popular children are more likely to be bullied. Is this image accurate? Bullying researcher Mitch van Geel knows this.
Every year, 19 April is dedicated to the National Anti-Bullying Day. Because bullying still occurs in nearly every Dutch classroom.
‘In primary education, around 17 percent of children are bullied, and in secondary education this concerns nine percent of students', explains Mitch van Geel.
Van Geel is an associate professor at the Institute of Pedagogical Sciences and conducts extensive research into both online and offline bullying behavior among children.
Is the bully always popular?
He also studies the link between bullying and popularity. In countless films and TV series, the popular person is almost invariably portrayed as the bully, while the least popular person is always the one being bullied. A very stereotypical image.
'And that is not without reason', says Van Geel. 'Research shows that popularity is important for children who bully. How do we define popularity precisely? It does not necessarily mean being well liked or having lots of friends, but rather being seen as cool or tough. Someone who gets their way in the classroom and is put on a pedestal.'
Popularity alone does not make someone a bully
Popularity alone does not make someone a bully. 'Bullies use bullying strategically to gain, maintain or increase their own status. To act so calculatingly, you need to be able to switch off your emotions, at least to some extent. On average, bullies are therefore not the most empathetic people. This is also shown by one of our analyses. Lower levels of empathy can thus be a predictor of bullying behaviour.'
A typical bully from the world of film and television is Draco Malfoy, the arch‑rival of Harry Potter from the book and film series of the same name. He embodies everything Van Geel describes: he is popular according to the scientific definition and bullies Harry for his own gain. Draco repeatedly tries to cast Harry in a bad light, makes cruel remarks and constantly taunts him. There is even a compilation video on YouTube showing his meanest comments directed at Harry.
Are less popular children more likely to be bullied?
So the stereotypical image of popular bullies does appear to be accurate, but what about the children who are bullied? The prevailing idea is that they are often less popular or not popular at all and frequently have few or no friends. Research does partly support this view, says Van Geel.
'Children who are bullied are generally more withdrawn and anxious. Research also shows that, on average, they have lower self‑confidence and self‑esteem, which may make them an easier target. After all, bullies look for someone they can harass repeatedly in order to continually reinforce their own status. This may be more difficult when a victim is confident and stands up for themselves.'
Friends as a source of support
But: 'it is not the case that a child who is bullied always has to cope completely alone. Less popular children can seek each other out and form friendships. Within a group of friends, a victim of bullying may also find social support. This support appears to ease the suffering that bullying brings with it.'
Although such sources of social support may make the experience of bullying somewhat less severe, being bullied is, of course, still deeply distressing.
The National Anti‑Bullying Day exists for a reason, as bullying can leave profound scars.'Bullying increases the risk of depression, anxiety, self‑harm, substance use and smoking. Research, much of which has been conducted among secondary school pupils, also shows a link between a history of bullying and suicidal thoughts, suicide attempts and suicide.'
What can you do to help?
Although many steps have already been taken to prevent bullying, completely eradicating it remains an unattainable goal for the time being.
Offering a helping hand when you suspect bullying is, of course, possible. 'If a child wants to talk about it, it is important to offer support and a listening ear', the bullying researcher explains.
'It can also happen that a child does not want to talk about it. Sometimes they think that adults will only make things worse and that nothing can really be done. There is a perception that if an adult knows, they will go to the school and summon the bully for a telling‑off. That person may then say it will never happen again, after which the bullying may actually become more severe.'
So how can you tell whether bullying is taking place? 'A child who is being bullied may, due to stress, suffer from stomach aches, headaches, or suddenly start sleeping poorly. If you hear a child mention these problems, they can be possible warning signs.'
National Anti‑Bullying Day
National Anti‑Bullying Day is held annually on 19 April. The aim is to combat bullying and to raise awareness of the serious consequences of bullying. More information about the themed day and tips on how to tackle bullying can be found on the website of the Stop Pesten Nu foundation (in Dutch only).